I'll slurp somethin...

- KIIYP, in response to the fact that a cute boy (B.C.M.R.) rode by on a bike with what was referred to as a slurpee

How are your pants?

- MP, asking if KIIYP had spilled any lunch on her jeans

"What?!"
- KIIYP, clearly taking that the wrong way

Really we just lay there and let them fuck us.

- MP, imitating NP's completely unenthusiastic 'We fuck 'em.'

What are they, Lauren?

- KIIYP

"Bitches!"
- NP

"What are you gonna do with 'em?"
- MP

"Fuck 'em!"
- NP

I swing both ways.

- NP, in regards to chunky vs. smooth peanut butter

They've smoked meat.

- SS, with regard to Johnson's Boucaniere

"So have I."
- KIIYP, in response

Well, we all know how Chelsea likes meat in her mouth.

- SS

ATTENTION:

Patrick McKinney's pants nickname has been revoked.

He is now and forever shall be known as:

Patrick "Meat Pants" M.

That is all.

I've already planted a few seeds in you guys.

- Pants Name Pending, with regard to his sly method of picking on girls

It's a rape whistle, not a 'Rape? Yes, please!' whistle.

- NP, explaining to MP the difference between a rape whistle and a sexual invitation

Don't rape me, Patrick. I'm staying on my side of the office.

- KIIYP, unarmed without a rape whistle

"You better."
- MP, in response

How's my favorite little meat fairy this morning?

- MP, in greeting to a very surprised KIIYP

This dress is so uncomfortable. I can't bend over to do anything.

- KIIYP, explaining the downside to her dress

I don't like anything soft.

- KIIYP, observing the melted-ness of her Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

Go horizontal, it looks bigger.

- NP, in regards to ad sizes

It makes me think that his cock has internet or something.

- KIIYP, in reaction to G.W.'s 'Sent from my i-thingy' email signature

So you can handle the seed but you can't handle the cream, huh?

- KIIYP, with regard to NP's failure to eat an entire creampuff

"Yep, that's what you just said... but of course, one comes with the other, so there we are."
- NP, wrapping up the conversation

You're such a makeout slut.

- MP, to KIIYP in regards to her receiving a facebook message from an old fling

Oh, well now I'm just flashing for no reason...

- NP, on her unladylike behavior induced by her legging-wearing

Oh, I would very much enjoy shoving the whole thing in my mouth.

- KIIYP, considering the large bite of Dobash cake that she was preparing to take

Anything that starts with P-E-N I like to keep warm.

- MP, regarding my stolen pen which he was keeping warm for KIIYP in his (shirt) pocket

Is that what you do, Chelsea? You go around sticking your fingers places just because there's a hole?

- NP, regarding the finger-rape of armpit via the hole in her sweater

"I do."
- MP, in out of nowhere response

When did he grow a vagina and freak out over me not responding right away?

When did it... invert?"
- SS, regarding her date with a creeper

Some boys just need to get in my mouth.

- KIIYP

Smaller? I liked it huge.

- SS, with regard to type and (I can only assume) her preferences in general

I never do anything half way, least of all Meat.

- KIIYP, divulging her outlook on life and her order at 2Pauls

ATTENTION:

Amanda Borne's pants nickname has been revoked.

She is now and forever shall be known as:

Amanda "Secret Sauce" B.

That is all.

God, Amanda, you're such a slut. Giving multiple users access to your analytics.

- KIIYP, in response to an unsolicited email in Amanda's inbox

Ohhhhhh... Ohhhh. Ohhhhhhhhh!

- NP, in frustration at OpenOffice

"Why are you having an orgasm over there?!"
- KIIYP, in response

Oh my God. I want it now. Get in my mouth.

- KIIYP, regarding the Julie roll at Oishi Sushi

I think they just got hot and sticky together...

...There wasn't any love involved."
- KIIYP, in response to NP

"They love each other."
- NP, regarding the three paintbrushes stuck together with rubber cement on the cutting table

'Quick and Dirty' is me on a daily basis.

- KIIYP, the assessment of her general state in comparison to the development of a website.

Oh, you just need to sleep with him and get it over with...

- KIIYP, with regards to Lauren getting over her Darren Criss crush

"That's a 'Yes, ma'am.'"
- NP, in affirmative

No, I'm not gonna lie, there are a few headshots of him that are just... chewable.

- LD, about Darren Criss (who else?)

Yes, but do you do it with your wang out?

...Stephen does."
- KIIYP, asking NP how she reads emails from voiceover actresses

"You know it."
- Stephen, turning quickly and enforcing the point in his deepest voice

With your wang out?

- AP, in response to Stephen

"I just, like, hang out...'
- Stephen

Also, your lips look delicious.

- HP, general statement about NP.

I guess the guys in the back said, 'Yeah it looks like this girl can handle some seed.'

- NP, referring to the copious amount of sesame seeds on her hamburger bun, in comparison to the amount on KIIYP's hamburger bun - which was none.
(Apparently they realized she had enough)

I can take his V Card!

- KIIYP, regarding a link under a client's photograph on said client's website

-- 5 minutes later after laughter subsides --

"I feel like I'm not going to be pleased with the amount of cherries in this."  
- NP, about her cherry limeade


"Of course not, Lauren, I already took his."
- KIIYP, with regards to taking said client's VCard from said client's website


*VCard - a digital file containing a person's contact information to be inserted into one's email address book

So I just need to grab all this and just play with it?

- KIIYP

I'm gonna get to work and stop sitting here all unshowered and grabbin' on my tits.

- KIIYP, deciding to get to work

"You're my hero." - NP, in response

Lauren, trust me. I'm an expert at having things in my mouth.

- KIIYP, teaching NP how to get the sucker off the stick without breaking it

...and when I was down here like this *squats*... with naked model ass in my face.....

- NP, on when she realized the 'hey, girl, hey' skirt she was wearing probably wasn't the best idea

Do you have regular indentations from bra straps that support heavy, pendulous breasts?

- reading material from a client

I'm too busy coding PhP to button my shirt.

- HP, on his nature of being a sexy beast

*Note: PhP, pronounced "fffffp"

Tidy your yard. Cut the grass, rake the leaves, add new mulch, trim the bushes, edge the walkways, and clean the gutters. For added curb appeal, place a pot of bright flowers near the entryway.

- AP, explaining what every good boy should do to his yard

Myyyyyyyy milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!...

- AP, in a facebook status

"What if they're lactose intolerant?"
- HP, in a comment on said status

"Oh, snap."
- KIIYP, in a comment on said status

CMD=Spontaneous Nutsplosions. Fact.

- KIIYP, in response to HP's sending of an article titled "When Pistachio Nuts Explode" which he said reminded him of her

Put it all in your mouth and then spit it out.

 I'm sorry."

- NP

Amanda Borne, stop trying to turn me!

- HP, frustrated with AP's sexiness

My windshield wipers would not squirt this morning.

That's a euphemism. Chelsea, I have ED. And I've been too afraid to tell you."

- HP

C-U-N-T!

- HP, at a four-way stop, in the creative office, you know, just... wherever.